Unexpected things about becoming a mother?

What I was not expecting before becoming a parent?


I remember that when I felt pregnant, many parents were telling me "It is a live changing experience". I get this now, but back then, the only think this phrase did was to raise more questions: Live changing? How? Is it for the best..or not?...What do they mean? This is why, more than two years later I decided to write these lines in case someone has the same question in mind. In this post I wanted to talk about some things about becoming a parent that I did not anticipated, even if I was putting a lot of effort to document myself on the matter. Of course, becoming a parent was the best thing in the world. There is nothing I can say that is not "clisce" and common sense for all.

Here is a list of the things I was not expecting to experience (these points were also revisited in the video linked above):

• Postpartum euphoria: I knew about postpartum depression and the baby blues. I knew that after giving birth it was possible to have the feeling of being vulnerable and overwhelmed by the change. I was hoping to have just the sporadic episodes of feeling sad and needing to cry (baby blues) and not to fall into a depressed mode (postpartum depression). Instead of these sad feelings I felt the contrary. It is called postpartum euphoria or baby pinks. You have a happiness feeling, you love your live and everything feels perfect. In other words you feel on top of the world. That is nice, isn't it? Well, as with everything, only if it is not extreme and long lasting. While both baby blues and pinks are attributed to hormone fluctuation, I wish you some very mild baby pinks :).

• Sleep deprivation: I thought I had this covered, but as a first time mum, I just had no idea. Before, if one night I slept 4 hours, that was the end of the world. After my daughter was born, I discovered the new level. Waking up at every hour and totally forgetting what 8 hours of full sleep feel like. For many months I felt like a Zombie. I would say that the age  0-4 months and 8-12 months old were the worst, the 0-4 months because of the frequent requests to breastfeed and 8-12 months due to my daughter teething. Now, 2 years later, things are much better. She still wakes up once early in the morning (4 or 5 am) to come to our bed, but it is nothing with respect to what was the first year.

• Toilet deprivation: This may sound strange to you, but I was surprised how difficult can get to go to the toilet ALONE and with no interruption. I am still working on being able to close the door for some minutes of privacy. Showering becomes suddenly a complex task too.

• Freedom to go out. I needed/ wanted/ had to go out? If it was not planed, I could forget it. If the baby was coming with me, I needed to plan for eventual foods and drinks and changes, routine shifts and the right timing to go out. If the baby was not with me, I needed my husband to take over and plan for the meals, drinks for my little one. I had to forget about the spontaneous going out for a while...but as my baby grows, it is getting easier...she has now become a good companion making going out even more fun.

• Organized: If you do not have this skill, you will acquire it as soon as you become a mum. Nothing works if you don't. You cannot go out, you cannot bath your baby, you cannot feed your family in time. While relaxing and not over planning everything can be good, doing it with a screaming baby is hard.

• Time efficient: Your baby is probably going to take a lot of your day time (If you have no help, I would say at least 70%). The time left you have to share it between endless duties, catching up some sleep and doing something for you. Since the first 2 are necessities, you will learn how to make the most with your 30% without no wasting any minute of it.

• New Love: You can imagine this, or probably you are told this a hundred times, but I feel it is important to reiterate. You will love no-one in the way you love your child. There is nothing alike, there is no way to describe it, you will feel it when he/she is in your arms.

• Dad goes through the big changes as well: He can have postpartum depression too, or have low sexual desire for some time. There is a lot that your partner may not have anticipated about this adjustment time, so he will need some time too.

If you are a mum and reading this, I would love to hear your thoughts.

If you are a mum to be and this sounded scary to you, think that becoming a mum it is not easy but it is the best thing you will ever do.

I will conclude with a nice timeline video capturing the physical development of my daughter. If you watch it, don't forget we love your comments.

Lots of love Sara!

The hide and seek scare!

The hide and seek scare!

Has this ever happened to you?

My two years old daughter is a big fun of the hide and seek game. Most of the time she hides where I can clearly see her, such as behind the piano (her favorite). Then I have to pretend I cannot see her, even if her head is way above the keyboard and the piano hardly covers her body! I call her and wonder where she is until she decides to "reappear" in front of me.

I have no idea if she is getting smarter with this game, or it was just a case, but, some days ago, I experienced the extreme hide and seek version of the game. We were in our house when I realized that she was not in the place where I left her playing. I called her but no answer. I went in all the rooms and I couldn't see her. I kept calling her.

I went again in all the rooms and I noticed that one of the windows was open. We live in the ground floor! My mind started gearing with bad thoughts! She is only two years old...if she is here, why she is not answering? I decided to check if she went out somehow. The main door was locked and so was the door of the balcony! I kept calling her without an answer.

After checking all the rooms twice, my options were a lot less. I started thinking maybe the main door was opened and I did not check it right. I walked towards the door still calling her.  I finally hear some noise! Close to the main door, there is a mini storage room that we use very occasionally. The door of this room opened and there she was smiling in the dark! I still do not know how she got there as we lock this room...and how she could stay for so long in the dark just to hide?!

Overall it may have lasted 1-2 minutes....but it felt so long and very upsetting experience! I think, in normal circumstances,  I would have said to her to not do this again...but I am not sure what I did....I probably hugged and kissed her from the relieve.  I think now she is at a phase where she wants to explore and that gives her a sense of autonomy. She is definitively discovering what is independence and how her individual actions (hiding) affect the others (seeking).

Dear Emilia, If you ever read these lines, please know that being independent does not mean making mum worry :)

With love,
Sara

When she figured that covering her eyes does not count as hiding?

Five must have toys for newborn babies

Five must have toys for newborn babies

As a new mum I struggled to know what to buy for a baby that was not there yet. I spent quite a lot of time watching videos of mums on YouTube (Yes, there is a huge community of mums sharing their experiences on YouTube, me included) so that I could get an idea of what to buy. I did get an idea, however it seemed that the list was endless and I was overwhelmed to the idea of having to buy so many products. I live in the center of Europe, where the story is quite different. Baby products are very expensive here! Moreover, the space in European houses tent to be small to hold a lot of bulky baby stuff.

Looking back now I did not needed a lot of things to begin with. If you are a parent to be and reading this please know that a newborn baby needs very little to begin with. He/she will prefer your comfort. Nevertheless here is 5 items that I would buy in case I was to have a newborn again:

•  Baby Activity Gym: This was our best buy. It worked well for us. I could place my daughter for tummy time in the mat and she was happy to stay there. In the mat she started interacting with the hanging toys, rolling over and then one day she was out of it so we knew...she was growing up so fast! Here is the review of the one we choose, I clearly am attached to this toy and 2 years later still have it in her room :).

• Swing: At the time I decided to get a portable swing that would fit in my small living room. My daughter turned up to be a bit colicky, so, at first she did not like it as much as I thought she would. As time went by, she became more and more interested in it and I could have some time free handed. In case you are wondering, here is a review I did on the portable swing that I bought.

• Bouncer: I wish we had bought one! I would buy it a second time around because bouncing is different to swinging and some babies just like it more. I found that she likes it very much at about 5 months when she started going to day care. I would rock her to sleep so they used a bouncer to put her to sleep and it worked wonders. Why did not I get a bouncer and spent so much time to rock her? No idea...but now I know what to do if another baby was in the way.

• Mobile: This is not as essential but it was useful. I would recommend to not spend a lot on it because it is not an item that you overuse in those few months that your baby newborn baby.

• A lullaby doll or white noise teddy-bear: A good toy with soothing sounds. White noise is known to calm the baby, so probably I would go for a white noise making toy such as a teddy-bear (I have seen it somewhere while I was looking for baby items). I did go for My Pal Violet from Leap Frog which is a lovely toy for over 6 months babies but I think there are better choices when it comes to newborn babies.

Who am I?

Here I am! A part time working mamma that wants to connect with other women that are going throw the process of being or becoming a mother. It is an amazing experience and I find myself wanting to tell everyone how much it changes you. It is challenging at times! You learn a lot about you, about relationships about people and priorities... Who knew when the journey started that it would be so intense!

Anyway...to get away from the vague....I am a mother of a beautiful daughter called Emilia. Currently she is almost 2. Only now I have more time to dedicate to other things such as blogging or vlogging. So I opened a YouTube channel and this blog to share some of the things that interest me as a person but mostly my journey into motherhood. I did a video telling to other youtubers who I am and what I want to achieve by vlogging. Here is the link if you would like to watch it. If you use youtube you may also consider subscribing.

With blogging I am expecting to be the same jut a bit more relaxing than doing videos which by the way is labor intensive. Also I find that writing conveys a lot more your message than videos, thou I still have to test this!

Cheers Sara