Gay Rights: A message to my Italian Friends

7/10/2014

This morning I woke up to the news that the Interior Minister of Italy (Alfano) is telling mayors to stop recognizing gay marriage. I am upset, but, my reaction is not specifically towards the minister. It is towards my Italian friends who are represented by him. He can take these measures or say those things because, in Italy, these things are culturally accepted.

On a side note, I am still puzzled as to why these old-good-techniques of generating a debate over a minority group still work. There are bigger problems in Italy right now, economy to say one. That is a real problem directly influencing  98% of the Italian population. Denying the rights to 1-2% of the population it is not!

We are pointing the finger to Italy, but here is a picture that summaries the world-wide situation. There is a green trend in there that will continue until nothing is holding it back! It all will look inevitably green and  it is only a matter of time.

So here is what I wrote to my friends and I am sharing this with you too, because it is important that we all accept it, there is no debate that is human and that ends up with denying somebody's else rights!

To my Italian friends, 

At first I did not want to say anything, but, I am thinking about those wonderful "gay" friends of mine and, I want to say something, despite there are many of you who may disagree.

You know how there is no escape and good judgement prevails? We call it progress and we know from history that it does not happen overnight. Once we fought about black people's rights, then women's rights and now gay rights..still?  Some people are gay, and, even if in some countries has not been recognized yet (say #Italy), allowing them to marry is the right thing to do...along with all the privileges that a classic family has.

The discussion as to why yes and why not has little relevance to me, this is about somebody's else live, not yours. As you are reading this, if in your head you are thinking "No, No, No". Hold in there, don't say anything. We can resume this discussion in 10-20 years from now, when denying people's rights will not have worked, or when one of your children tells you that they are gay and you will have passed that initial rage phase and you will just want them to be happy :)! I am sure history will not let me down and it will repeat itself.

Live and let live!

One of my gay-friends saw my message and added this:
I am glad to be a Spanish (gay marriage is allowed in Spain) and I am glad I have two families: the one I was born to and the one I chose. 

 

By the way, if the comparison with interracial marriage in the US holds, same-sex marriage should have been approved 30 years ago. Sometimes law does not have to wait for public opinion to do the right thing.

I do not want to debate with you now, but, I would love to hear your story!

With Love Sara

What to eat in Shkodra / Shkoder Albania

Sunset from the Lake of Shodra

I did a short video showing some beautiful clips of Shkodra which I will link in this page.  Soon after a viewer told me: I am going there, what and where should I eat?

The cuisine in Albanian homes has a Turkish origin. There are many tasty dishes that combine vegetables, protein and carbohydrates in one single dish. The down side, they are very time consuming to cook, so not many restaurants present the type of traditional menus that Albanians eat at home.
So, back to the questions:

What to eat?

Buke e Qebap (Bread and Qebap):  Qebap is a sort of meatball that is given cilyndric shape and grilled. Its very tasty and flavored. A must try every time I go back to Shkodra. You can find them in shops called "Qebaptore". I know there is one in the "Parruca" square, very close to the bakery! You can also ask for them in restaurants, many of them may offer this choice.

Byrek: Byrek is a type of salted pastry which is cheap and tasty. In my opinion, the best Byrek is sold in the so known as the "Ali Juka" shop. It is a very small pastry shop almost attached to another pastry shop so you cannot miss it. This shop too is located in the Parruca square. You need to ask the locals, they will show you. You will have the choice of the filling me djath (cheesy) or me mish (meat). I personally love the meat one (To be precise it contains onion and meat).

Akukllore me Boze (Icecream with Boze): In any pastry shop you can ask for "Akullore me Boze". Boze its a very refreshing drink made from cereal flour. It is not that sweet, thus, they olace one or two scoops of ice-cream inside. I remember drinking a good one in "Embeltore Rinia" It is located near the council as you leave Parruca and start walking towards the Pjaca square! As usual, locals know.

Pilaf: Pilaf is a very cheap plate. It is a rice prepared with meat broth and it is used as a breakfast dish. Do not be shy to ask for it at lunch time! Many restaurants offer it.

A Tave Dheu Dish

Njale ne tjegull (Eel):  Shkodra is the best lace where to eat Eel because they are fresh from the lake. Ells have a stange shape and that may put you off from trying but it is a very very very tasty dish. If you like salmon, you will like eel as they are both quite fatty fishes. They cook in in alumin foil on  a  particular plate (called tjegull). This is mostly offered in restaurants near the lake.

Tave dheu: This dish is a kind of beef stew cooked in a sauce with tomato sauce ans a particular cheese. My Italian husband likes this one a lot!

Other Traditional dishes: My favorite traditional dishes are Speca te mbushur (filled peppers), a dish made with rice, minced beef, onions and peppers; Tave Kosi (stew with yogurt), a stewed and then baked dish made with lamb meat, plain white yogurt and eggs; and, Japrak, this is a very particular dish made with rice, minced beef and grape leaves, quite particular, but if done well is very very tasty. Summer is the best time to eat Japrak because the leaves are fresh.
 

Where to eat?

Restaurant Cocja Shkoder: It has been a while since last I eat there, but they used to have nice traditional dishes on top of more classical choices such as pizza. This is located near the orthodox church right behind the piazza square.

Cofte and Shish Qebap

Restaurants in Shiroka: Shiroka is a bit to far if you have to walk there. It is the area where the lake is and it is full of restaurants. They all cook pretty well. Fish can be very tasty in there because they cook it fresh. They offer also many traditional meat plates such as shish qebap (skewers) or qofte (meat balls).

I will update with more places as they come into my mind..



Have a great time! Let me know if you went there how it was and where you are well! Here is the video I mentioned in the beginning of the article! I would love for you to watch it! 

With love,
Sara

Logopedist excercises after voice loss

These some exercises that I have to do in order to improve the sound of my voice. I must do them everyday for 10 minutes.

•  Repeat the following vowels in a not continuous sound (- stands for pause):

           A-A-A-A-A
           E-E-E-E-E
           I-I-I-I-I-I-I
           U-U-U-U-U
           O-O-O-O-O

• Repeat the vowels in a continuous sound. Hold it for as long as it is possible(no pause between them):

            Aaaaaaaaa...
            Eeeeeeeeee...
            Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii...
            Uuuuuuuu...
            Oooooooo...

• Repeat the following sound (this may be more related to French)

          AKRA - EKRE - OKRO - IKRI - UKRU

• Repeat the following for as long as possible:

           ssssssssssszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........
           fffffffffffffvvvvvvvvvvvvvv.........
           shhhhhhhhjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj.......... (or chhhhhhhjjjjjjjjj in French)

• Repeat the following sequence by increasing the voice volume at every new number:

         1 2 3 4 5

• Repeat the following sequence by decreasing your voice volume at every new number:

        5 4 3 2 1

• Repeat the following sequence by alternating low and high volume:

        1 2 3 4 5 6

That's all for now!
With Love, Sara

Gentle Weaning

I think babies are so different that is hard to write general rules that will apply to all. I prefer to tell you how we did it, and maybe you can find something to apply to your situation! If there is a general message that I would like to pass to you is that: Weaning is a process and, to make it gentle,  it needs a lot of patience to complete it.
 
At some point of our breastfeeding journey, I started wondering if it ever stop. My daughter seemed so attached and me saying "no" to a breastfeeding session seemed the hardest thing to do! Honestly, I do not even know if I was totally in sink with my "weaning from breastfeeding feelings", but either way, I felt that I should be the one to initiate this process.

There were some steps that we took to slowly introduce some changes that would not be traumatic for either of us. My goal was to make the transition easy and I knew that I wanted her not to cry because that (in my mind) felt as if she was not ready.

Finally, our breastfeeding journey ended at 34 month old. Here are some steps that we took as time went by:

• We introduced solids at 5 months and a half. She started with a solid feed around 4 pm. She was drinking milk every 3- 4 hours by then.
• At 8 months old she had two solid foods, one at 12 and one at 4 pm. I switched into giving first the food and then offering breast milk. At that point she started drinking less breast-milk, however, we did nothing to discourage her from breastfeeding until she turned 18 months old.
• At 18 months old she had two feeds that seemed just for comfort. One was in the afternoon feed. At that time of the day she was either hungry or, she had not seen me much during the day (because she goes to day-care 3 days a week). We removed this feed easily by having her dinner plate ready and slightly early. The second one was the morning feed. She resisted this a bit, but our yummy breakfast and me being in another room when she woke up did the trick. If she fuzzed I had no problem to go back, but at some point she forgot about it and she went straight to our sugary breakfast (since we eat Italian for us is fruit, biscuits and milk so probably her favorite meal of the day).
• Night feeds were the difficult ones. I started offering water during these feeds and that helped because she started slowly drinking less. But that was not replacing the nursing sessions. She had a nursing to sleep habit which I had no idea how to break. I was told to find something else to sooth her like rocking or back rubbing. I welcomed the suggestion but nothing that I was trying seemed to work. I did however noticed that when she woke up in the night, in some occasions, she would be fine with drinking only some water and placing a hand into my breast. That soothed her to sleep without the need to breastfeed again. At some point I also google-d how to break the nursing to sleep habit. I read about this method which should be described in the "No cry sleep solution" book. The idea behind was to unlatch the baby before it falls asleep, if they cry you offer again for a minute or so. By then my daughter was 2+. Try and unlatch a 2 years old that if fully aware of what you are doing. I could unlatch when I was she was almost asleep, but what did the trick was to turn to my back. If she was tiered enough, she did not have the energy to lift her body to find the breast again. So, she started to place a hand on my breast and fall asleep like that. 
• At 2 and a half she finally started drinking caws milk (our magical drink :)). We had tried for such a long time to have her drink it, but, she refused it with the same effort. Finally we put cocoa and sugar and made it into something she loved. That helped us get started and then slowly she got used into drinking just milk. As she started drinking milk before bed, she also started sleeping all night long. So any in the night feed was removed (by two and a half we were left with just one...just before sleeping session). 
• Finally I was left only with the fall asleep sessions that she desperately needed to fall asleep (for 60 s) but she needed them. One was for the day nap and the other one before going to sleep at night. Reading books and her being very tiered when it was time to sleep helped a little, but these alone did not break the nursing to sleep habit. The same goes for me talking her into the fact that she was a big girl now and that she did not needed milk. She agreed with the statement up until she felt the need to fall asleep. Finally, over a weekend, her dad took over. He read  some books and then asked her to sleep and she did. He did it 4 times in a row (2 days). Then he returned to work and I was with her again. She asked but I said that there was no more need for it and that she can place her hand instead. It worked! She was done!

I also recorded a video to share our experience. What is yours?
With love Sara!

PS: You will find a lot of people ready to advice you on parenting! Remember this is not advice, its just one experience.